Version 2.0

On Facebook earlier today when I mentioned that I would soon post pictures of the completed dissertation draft, I also said I’m referring to it as Version 2.0. I think this makes a nice distinction from the prior versions – which were, quite simply, six disparate chapters in various stages of disrepair and whatnot. Version 2.0 is NOT the final edition, but it’s evidence that this project – in dissertation form – is nearing its culmination.

I won’t post the pictures here, but Version 2.0 is live – at least, if “live” means “printed, hole-punched, and placed into a lime-green binder, complete with chapter dividers”. I’m even playing with a snazzy new title. Tomorrow afternoon I’ll hand it over to my adviser so that she can give it a read before I proceed with what I hope will be the final major round of revisions.

It’s not perfect, but I consider this a major accomplishment and I’m more than a little thrilled with myself. The dissertation is taking shape – not just in physical form, but in ideas. And sometimes I get a little giddy when I think about how far my thinking has evolved thus far.

Now, a brief break in dissertating for a few weeks while I pursue some other things, like the job search, writing conference presentations, and breathing. But in the meantime, I have to say I got a big kick out of one of my friends, who commented that Dissertation Version 2.0 must include the following. (He wasn’t really too far off base aside from the obscure acronym part.)

Features of Dissertation Version 2.0:

* Compresses audio up to 1.5x faster in Windows and up to 7x faster in Mac OS X
* Introduction by Ernest Hemingway, via séance
* Increased use of obscure acronyms
* Frosted glass enclosure
* Smells like rosemary
* Soundtrack performed by the cast of Glee
* Puppies!

Introduction, Conclusion, and Wrap-up, Oh my!

Just a few days left ’til I hand in Dissertation Version 1.0 to Adviser.

Part of me anticipates this shouldn’t be too hard, as I’m spending today through Thursday tackling the introduction (previously drafted, but probably will be overhauled almost entirely) and the conclusion. But then I step back and think, “I’m tackling the introduction,” which can really be a sticking point in a lot of ways. In some ways, the introduction feels like a chance to revise my dissertation prospectus (which later turned into grant proposals). In other ways, I want to start fresh.

So here I am, with four days of writing left (since I want to use Friday to print, organize, and prep the document for Adviser). I’m back at the kitchen table, external hard drive attached to the computer, water bottle to my left, and two stacks of books in front of me for when I start messing with my historiography.

Let’s do this thing.

Approaching the final bend

A week from tomorrow, I will deliver my dissertation to my advisor.

Honestly, I’m eager for that moment. After all these weeks of intense revision sessions, I’m ready to hand the document over and give it some space. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in the past few months, but frankly, things have only gotten harder the closer I’ve gotten to the finish line.

Somehow, I’m not surprised by that. Impending deadlines – even self-imposed ones – can be excellent stress-inducers. Add to that the fact that the final three chapters of the chapter (aka, the second half of it) required much more intensive work than the first half, and it all means that I have my moments of doubt.

Like this week, when I’ve been struggling with Chapter 6. It’s one of the more important chapters in the project – not that the other chapters don’t matter, because they actually do play a very important part in getting to Chapter 6 – and my brain’s had a hard time wrapping around some stuff.

I feel like I’m revising Chapter 1 all over again, partly because yesterday I had another breakthrough like I had while revising that chapter. After staring at something for years, I finally found my way into it. All of a sudden, after three days of agonizing over my lack of progress with Chapter 6 revisions, something clicked last night around 9:30.

Of course, I’m still working out the particulars, but having that moment of illumination meant that I was finally able to tie together the section of the chapter I’d been working on for most of the week (and struggling with). This means that today I can wrap up that section (3.5 pages left to flesh out) and move into the next section – the final one to tackle.

Slowly but surely, it’s all coming together. And of course, life in other aspects continues: yesterday I submitted my first round of job applications, and as soon as I hand over the dissertation next week I’ll need to get working on more job applications and my two upcoming job applications.

And of course, find some time to breathe.

The Sound of Silence

It’s been a full ten days since my last post, and I really didn’t mean for so much time to lapse in between. I realized about a week ago, however, that that may just be what happens right now. In two weeks, things will be less chaotic and I’ll be able to articulate things more clearly aside from my dissertation.

That, of course, is what’s taken up all my time recently. I’ve now revised through Chapter 5, which means that Chapter 6 will be on the docket tomorrow morning. Later tonight, I’ll sit down with the existing draft, plus my advisor’s comments and our meeting notes, and I’ll develop a strategy for revising it this week.

In the meantime, however, I’ve been hard at work preparing job applications, working on Chapter 5, and revising that article to make it even better. Outside of my dissertation, I have many thoughts and many things to say, but the truth is that I simply don’t yet have the energy to say them.

So please, bear with me. I’ll be back soon, I promise.

Red-Letter Day

Today’s a red-letter day because today I received my first rejection from a journal.

While that may not be something to celebrate – and no, it’s not like I’m breaking out the champagne over that - I think there’s something important about it. It’s my first journal article and my first rejection, and I figure that over the course of my career this will happen more than once. (Even though I’m sure we all dream of nice solid lines of acceptance letters, right?)

I’ve been “putting myself out there” since my first year of grad school, when I resolved to submit a proposal to at least one conference every year. That was pretty successful. By next June, I’ll have presented at 9 conferences in 6 years. I also had to decline another conference, but I’ve only been rejected from a conference once. I like that track record, and that was a good goal to have.

My next thing, of course, is publication. I submitted the article in question to – well, a very good magazine, but perhaps not the best venue for the piece. Not the wrong venue, necessarily, but maybe not the best fit. I have to admit that I’m highly impressed that they got the response back to me so quickly – a week and a half after I submitted it! (The flip side may be that they considered it soooo bad that they just had to get it out of there, but the feedback doesn’t suggest that.)

The email today listed six points that they saw as important to address. Some of them are minor, and certainly things I can do. And while I probably can’t classify this as a revise and resubmit (the email said that it didn’t really fit for them in its current state, or something along those lines), they did say that if I addressed those points and substantially revised the piece, they might have an interest in the future.

The six points they brought up were excellent ones. Again, one or two of them are “easy fixes”, and at this point, even the more major ones wouldn’t take much to think about. Overall, I thought the feedback was incredibly helpful for my thinking about this piece and how it all comes together.

Am I disappointed? Oh my gosh, yes. I can’t tell you how disappointing and crushing it was to receive this email – I knew it had to be a rejection given how quickly it was sent to me. But I also knew that could be the outcome, and I have to say that the feedback really softened the blow.

(Although I’ll be honest: getting rejection when you’re in the midst of revising your dissertation and starting to send out job applications is more than a little stressful. It makes it easy to question EVERYTHING I’m doing, although I’m trying to focus on what I’m doing right. Clearly, the editors think I have a fascinating topic and that there’s potential. I just need to follow through.)

What’s next? Revision, of course! I’m thinking that this Saturday would be the perfect day to start in on those changes so that I can either send it back or send it on to some place new.

Endorphin Rush

One of the accomplishments of the past two years that I’m most proud of – aside from my dissertation progress – is my gym routine. During the first two years of grad school, the idea of taking time to hit the gym was just stressful. I had no idea how to fit it in on top of the reading and the writing and the general survival of graduate school.

In year three, I got a little better, but it was really the end of year three – late spring 2008 – when I got myself into an actual routine. Now I hit the gym for 45 minutes to an hour every weekday morning before I start to work, and that’s a commitment that I like.

I like variety, so I try to shake things up as I’m able. This means that I spent six months from last November to this past May doing a weight lifting regimen, then in June my exercise routine was the mile-long walk between the hotel and the West Point classroom (not to mention, you know, traipsing all over Gettysburg and similar sites). In July and August, I eased back in to cardio, skipping only the week when I visited my grandmother and modifying last week’s schedule to account for some workshops.

Now I’m on the September Self magazine workout. Supposedly, I’ll lose eight pounds in four weeks by following it – but we’ll see. Even if I don’t lose that much, I have to admit that the workouts are phenomenal – what a difference from my mediocre 20-30 minutes of cardio this summer! In October, I think I’ll finally give running a shot and check out Couch to 5K to see if I’m up for the challenge.

I’m proud of this routine because it’s not always easy to get myself to the gym. There are days when I’d rather be frittering around on email or something else, or even sleeping a little later. But in the end, I think the gym routine is one of the best “for-me” things I could have added to my schedule: not only am I keeping my body in better shape, but I’m also giving myself a stress outlet.

You know, it may actually be part of the reason why I’ve been able to get through this dissertation thing so far.